Jealousy in a relationship

If you are going out with someone, you give each other a special status in your life, different from your other friends.

You may feel jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend seem to treat other people in that ‘special’ way. Try to think whether they are actually treating them in a special way, or just talking to them.

If you think your boyfriend/girlfriend is actually treating someone else in a special way:

  • Talk to them. Try to do this at a quiet time, away from other people – not when you are feeling emotional.
  • Explain how you feel, and why you don’t think this is the right thing to do.
  • Listen to what they say and see whether you think this is reasonable.
  • See if you can decide a way forward between you. If not, think whether you should break up.

If you realise that your boyfriend/girlfriend was just talking to someone else, but you still feel jealous, try to think why.

You should be able to trust the person you are going out with and you should have enough confidence in yourself. Again, talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend and explain your feelings; see if they can help you understand why you are jealous when you don’t need to be. But don’t make unreasonable demands; don’t try to control their whole life and not allow them to speak to anyone else. This is not a healthy relationship and may even be abusive.

You may also be interested in our pages on:

Having a happy relationship
Different expectations in a relationship
Breaking up
Abusive relationships