Abusive relationships

Although it is normal and healthy for a relationship to have ups and downs, it is not normal or healthy if your boyfriend/girlfriend:

• constantly makes you feel small or useless
• tries to control every detail of your life
• prevents you from seeing family or friends
• pressures you to do things you don’t want to do
• threatens you or your family if you don’t do what they want
• attacks you physically or verbally.

These are signs of an abusive relationship – whether or not your partner assures you that they only do these things because they love you. It is about power and control.

Abusive relationships do not do you any good and the longer they last the more harm they do. Abuse often gets worse over time.

Getting out of an abusive relationship can be hard but there are people and organisations who can help you if you talk to them. Talk to:

• friends or family
• trusted adults such as teachers, GPs, social workers
• Childline (a charity for teenagers as well as younger children)
• National Domestic Violence Helpline (run by two charities, Refuge and Women’s Aid, which protect against domestic violence).

If you are in immediate danger ring the police on 999.

You might also be interested in our other relationship pages:

You may also want to look at our mental health pages: