Falling out with friends

You won’t always agree with friends, but this shouldn’t cause any problems as long as you still respect their point of view.

But you may need to do something if:

  • a friend has done something to upset or annoy you
  • the friendship is not really a friendship at all
  • you don’t really like your ‘friend’ any more.

If your friend has done something to upset or annoy you, sometimes you can just let it go and put it down to experience. But if you find yourself thinking about it all the time, it might be better to tell your friend. They may not realise how you feel and it gives them the chance to do something about it.

If you think that they don’t understand what you’ve said, or if they carry on doing things that annoy or upset you, it is probably time to end the friendship.

Ending a friendship

There are different ways of ending a friendship. You can:

  • just drift away naturally (this often happens when you realise that you don’t particularly like your friend any more).
  • stop all contact, but don’t say anything directly to your ex-friend (this sometimes works best in cliques or with unbalanced relationships).
  • explain directly that you can’t be friends any more and give your reason.

You might of course be on the receiving end of this. If this happens to you, try to behave with dignity. Don’t plead, don’t threaten, and don’t think about revenge. Find someone you trust – someone in your family or a trusted friend – and talk to them. Then, in due course, you can move on.

Whichever side you’re on, try not to:

  • say horrible things about your ex-friend to everyone you know; concentrate on proper, helpful, discussions with someone in your family or one or two close friends.
  • encourage other people not to be friends with them either, or to choose between you.

And certainly don’t post horrible things on Facebook, or Snapchat, or anywhere else. It is better if you just let it go and move on.

Ending a serious friendship can sometimes be as awkward and difficult as ending a romantic relationship. You might also be interested in our page on breaking up:

Breaking up

You may also be interested in our other pages on friends (and non-friends):

Friends (and non-friends)